The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The bar charts illustrate the variation of
Pop
Use synonyms
,
Rock
Use synonyms
and Classical
music
Use synonyms
albums
Use synonyms
purchased by the public of Britain by males and females of different
age
Use synonyms
groups ranging from 16 up to more than 45
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
males are more interested in purchasing
music
Use synonyms
albums
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
of females. In the case of
Pop
Use synonyms
and
Rock
Use synonyms
, around 28% of men buy
music
Use synonyms
albums
Use synonyms
, compared to approximately 19% of females.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in the case of Classical
music
Use synonyms
, the percentage decreased to 9% for men and 6% for women.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people between the
age
Use synonyms
group of 16-24 and 25-34
years
Use synonyms
purchased around 30% of
Pop
Use synonyms
and
Rock
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
for Classical
music
Use synonyms
the percentage declined to 15% for 25-34
years
Use synonyms
and 1% for 16-24
years
Use synonyms
of
age
Use synonyms
groups. The percentage of people
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
aged more than 45
years
Use synonyms
purchasing Classical
music
Use synonyms
is double that of
Pop
Use synonyms
and
Rock
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
. It is observed that people in the
age
Use synonyms
group 35-44
years
Use synonyms
purchased
Pop
Use synonyms
and
Rock
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
albums
Use synonyms
approximately 28%,
whereas
Linking Words
2% for Classical
music
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by simrandeep0501 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words pop, rock, music, albums, age, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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