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Band 5.5

In Some Counties, fast-food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their Products. Do you think this is Positive or negative development...

#counties #fast-food #restaurants #supermarkets #money #schools #products #development
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School plays a vital role for children; it helps them. Grow physically and mentally, but nowadays, these schools have Started promoting fast cuisine because Supermarkets and restaurants fund them, and these steps will lead teenagers toward the dark side of the future. It affects their health, and
also
 they start preferring fast foods.
Firstly
 It affects the health of children. They would not know which eating thing they have to choose; scholars are immature. They are mainly dependent on their elders to make any choice. Due to the consumption of less nutrient meals, their immune system becomes weak, and they suffer from various diseases
such
 as food poison. (
In addition
 to
this
, the importance of healthy bread will downturn when School body Start Promoting quick foodstuff for their greediness for money Students will think that these meals are good for them they start preferencing quick foods
This
 trend will not stop in the life of children. It will
also
 affect nation growth youngsters eat
an unhealthy snacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
unhealthy snacks
an unhealthy snack
show examples
, so their academic performance will shrinkage. State bodies conducted a study in order to track the reason for decreasing academic Performance of Students, and Survey was concluded that consumption of less nutritious foodstuff leads to poor academic performance
Lastly
, I conclude that
this
 trend will not help in any sector teenagers will become unhealthy, the importance of healthy feed will
lost
Change the verb form
be lost
show examples
, and the nation's growth will
also
 be affected.
Submitted by stenisidhu.003 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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