Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It is thought by some that the importance of music,
art
and drama is just as same as other
subjects
for
elementary
Add an article
an elementary
the elementary
show examples
school
in particular
.
This
essay totally agrees with the statement because these
subjects
build children's confidence as well as they are enjoyable to learn. Learning music,
art
and drama accelerate children's personality development and
thus
build a
confidant
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confident
show examples
child.
Students
Change noun form
Students'
Student's
show examples
engagement in these
subjects
encourages them to communicate freely, make dissections and participate actively with peers
consequently
this
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
a self-assured child. So that skill is important for students' future.
For example
, in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
ten years, the Cambridge statistics data showed that pupils who have
art
in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
curriculum
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
other
subjects
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
improved
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
personality by being more introverted compared to schools with more serious
subjects
. Another reason
shows
Correct pronoun usage
that shows
show examples
the importance of engaging
these
Change preposition
in these
show examples
subjects
is the fact that they
are consider
Change the verb form
are considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enjoyable learning. Many students find it boring to just learn serious
subjects
like science, math and languages. It is better to have a balance in
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
curriculum with some
entertaining
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entertainment
show examples
.
Modern
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The modern
show examples
education system in Saudi Arabia,
for instance
, insert these entertaining
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
primary school. In conclusion, primary school
subjects
such
as music,
art
and drama should be seen as
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
crucial as other learning programs in
curriculum
Correct article usage
the curriculum
show examples
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
help in developing a self-assured child and
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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