IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable, but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #lives #values #customs #pity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, civilians are
inclining
Wrong verb form
inclined
show examples
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 bringing all luxury items to their premises. A bunch of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that hard work allows you to purchase all items of comfort but the cultural values are being compromised.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in a cut-throat world, it has become extremely important to have a healthy competition with your fellow employee.
However
Linking Words
, the competition is now no more healthy
instead
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are jealous of other's progress. To compete with them, folks are inclined toward unethical ways.
For instance
Linking Words
, our traditional values teach us not to bribe anyone. But to approve the business tender, business owners are willing to share profit with the authorized person.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, not everyone has the same thought process. A few
people
Use synonyms
 are still concerned about their morality and responsibility towards society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in today’s modern era, the youth is inclined toward jazz and contemporary music. But despite extremely good skills, a few
people
Use synonyms
 have still continued to pursue their careers as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
folk singers, or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
folk dancers. They are not only helping keep our history alive but
also
Linking Words
 they are helping it move.
Submitted by Krishna.gandhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: