IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that excessive use of smartphones badly affects teenagers' literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #teenagers #literacy #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays mobile phones got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 main role in our day-to-day life. Especially,
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 who keep using
smartphones
Use synonyms
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to feel more problems
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
literacy
Use synonyms
 when they need to write something without the help of their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Some folk see
this
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 no issue of
smartphones
Use synonyms
, but
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
 approach
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
literacy
Use synonyms
. Let's see
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides and conclude with
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
show examples
 outcome. I was part of
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 educational background where
smartphones
Use synonyms
 were not our main way of communication, so it was long emails or letters and that's how I was really under pressure to write without mistakes or having them as less as possible. But even
my
Change preposition
during my
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 at university I started to notice that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 did not put a lot of focus
towards
Change preposition
on
show examples
literacy
Use synonyms
.
They
Correct pronoun usage
Their
show examples
 point of view was
focusing
Change the verb form
to focus
show examples
 on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 point as simple as it's possible. But these days I see that my younger employees are focused less and less on grammar or the way their message sounds, and it's starting to be a problem even for
myself
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
 as I need to
double check
Add a hyphen
double-check
show examples
 all the time. So, from my personal
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
 I feel that
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are leading to
literacy
Use synonyms
 issues for teenagers, but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 the perception of receivers
also
Linking Words
 changed a lot. Nowadays I can observe how big-name magazines can skip some typos and mistakes in their
communicaton
Correct your spelling
communication
. To sum up, we as
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 need to find out the best possible way to impact
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 in terms of improving their
literacy
Use synonyms
 through the same
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Leading developers should focus more on
introducting
Correct your spelling
introducing
 applications which
also
Linking Words
 support
this
Linking Words
 thinking.
Submitted by alisher.jafarov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: