some people think that dangerous sports should be banned,but others think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
it is believed that risky
sports
Use synonyms
should be restricted, others hold that
people
Use synonyms
have the total freedom to choose what they want to practice as a sport. I think that
people
Use synonyms
are willingly throwing themselves into danger and their life at stake , just to feel an ephemeral satisfaction. On the one hand, many athletes
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
faced serious injuries or even died
while
Linking Words
practising their
sports
Use synonyms
activities
letting
Verb problem
leaving
show examples
broken-hearted families and friends behind, for the above situation, some
people
Use synonyms
are demanding the banning of
such
Linking Words
life hazardous
Add a hyphen
life-hazardous
show examples
activities.
In other words
Linking Words
, individuals tend to put themselves into extremely life-threatening situations just because they somehow feel alive, that they have accomplished something only few could have the gut to think about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or maybe because they are simply ignorant.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
lives
Use synonyms
were lost and many completely healthy athletes became disabled after car racing crashes, yet we still see the unreasonable hype
this
Linking Words
sport still gets.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more
lives
Use synonyms
will be lost in the future, just for the sake of personal satisfaction or getting attention, if we do not forbid perilous exercises.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others may argue that life is full of risks that even supposedly safe
sports
Use synonyms
might lead to serious injuries. To put it differently, the freedom of choice should not be taken from mature adults
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are capable of weighing the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
and risks of a certain sport just because rare accidents can happen.
For example
Linking Words
, these activities are usually practised by professionals and under their supervision in case of any accidents.
Consequently
Linking Words
, no one has the right to deprive children of their future dreams or forbid
people
Use synonyms
from an activity they consider part of their
lives
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, banning dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
is supported by some individuals
due to
Linking Words
the endless serious accidents they might occur, others deem that
people
Use synonyms
are mostly aware of those possibilities and have every right to choose what is suitable for them or not. I indeed hold that
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
and well-being should be prioritised and protected even if that meant taking away their freedom.
Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas more clearly, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
task achievement
You need to address all parts of the task more completely and provide a more comprehensive response by discussing both perspectives in more detail.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prohibit
  • autonomy
  • adrenaline rush
  • resilience
  • subjective
  • informed decision
  • extreme sports
  • hazardous
  • regulation
  • legislation
  • thrill-seeking
  • risk assessment
  • safety measures
  • protective gear
  • inherent risks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: