There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

It is undeniable that as time passes, urban
areas
are becoming more and more populated, resulting in more
noise
pollution
.
This
essay will discuss how increased immigration to big
cities
and developing industries
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
such
a phenomenon and what measures could be taken to tackle
this
issue. To commence with, as far as reasons are concerned,
it is clear that
the growing
noise
pollution
goes hand-in-hand with the increasing rate of
cities
' population. Apparently, a vast number of villagers leave their hometowns
due to
the lack of job opportunities and the provision of suitable services, leading to becoming industrial places of the big
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
more crowded and noisier.
For example
, a large number of people are commuting the southwest of Tehran, so, it would be much noisier.
In addition
, as plenty of companies are located in developed
cities
, like Tehran, it makes
such
regions nosier, especially in rush hours, in comparison with residential
areas
. To cope with
such
a disturbing issue, some solutions could be adopted by governments. First of all, some services should be provided to facilitate living in small
cities
and rural
areas
.
For instance
, if entertainment places, advanced Healthcare systems, shopping centres, etc. were constructed in
such
places, people would not presumably immigrate to megacities.
Secondly
, governments would be able to provide the youngest in small
cities
with the opportunity to find jobs by moving corporations closer to small towns, which, in turn,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
contributes to lessening
noise
pollution
in bigger
cities
. In conclusion, it is inevitable that moving people to urban
areas
in order to take advantage of developed facilities and find jobs are contributing
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
to
noise
pollution
;
however
, it can be handled by providing
such
opportunities for individuals in small towns.
Submitted by hesam.ahmadiandr on

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Task Response
The essay addressed the prompt by analyzing the causes of noise pollution in urban areas and proposing solutions. However, the response lacks depth and fails to fully articulate the complexity of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a basic framework for the essay. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs lacks coherence and logical consistency. A clearer structure and better use of linking words are needed to improve cohesion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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