IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Now a days many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What Problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

#people #difficulties #lack
Sleeping is an essential
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of human beings to attain physiological rest
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the body. With the busy
lifestyle
Add a comma
,lifestyle
show examples
 most
people
 have an issue
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
obtaining the required sleeping
time
.
This
 is one of the primary concerns which can cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of efficiency and health problems
effecting
Replace the word
affecting
show examples
 organizational productivity.
Therefore
, steps should be taken to motivate
people
 to obtain the proper sleep
time
 both individually and as a society. Lack of sleep can cause a variety of complications. As an
individual
Add a comma
,individual
show examples
 it can cause medical issues
such
 as headaches, high blood pressure and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in blood sugar.
Furthermore
, it can deprive an individual’s efficiency and productivity due to the dullness caused during the day.
Additionally
, as a
society
Add a comma
,society
show examples
 it can
also
 affect the total productivity of the society. As an example, if a garment factory has the same set of staff for the night and day, the day shift will be less productive due to the lack of sleep. In order to overcome
such
 situations
people
 should
work
 to a timetable and they can schedule their
work
 and allocate sufficient
time
 for sleeping.
Furthermore
,
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
 balance is an important management tool in
life
 which should be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 in day-to-day
life
.
This
 practice should
also
 be supported by organizations to sustain a good
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
.
Moreover
, the interaction with mobiles and televisions should be minimized during the nighttime. Many
people
 spend the night browsing the web on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 mobile which should be restricted by self-discipline. To conclude, the busy lifestyle has caused
people
 problems in obtaining appropriate sleep
time
 which can create medical and institutional issues.
Hence
, proper
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
 balance should be maintained individually and at organizations to overcome the problem and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
obtain appropriate rest.
Submitted by rashikag2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: