IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #languages #schools #force
It is debatable that
schools
 should not include a
second
language
 in their compulsory curriculum since it is challenging for
students
 to learn foreign
languages
. Some feel that forcing incapable
students
 to learn foreign
languages
 cause demotivating them and putting them in
stressful
Add an article
a stressful
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. In my opinion, considering the positive effects
such
 as educating open-minded perspectives and job opportunities in the future, all
students
 should be taught a
second
language
 at
schools
.
To begin
 with, as
language
 is intimately related to culture, foreign
language
education
 is not just
language
education
, but
also
 cultural
education
. To be specific, young children can broaden their horizons by experiencing the way people from other countries think and knowledge of other cultures through learning foreign
languages
. One study,
for example
, shows
students
 who have experienced foreign
languages
 tend to understand other cultures and have open attitudes.
This
 demonstrates how important learning different
languages
 are for a student despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their
language
 learning capacity.
In addition
, if
schools
 do not enforce
language
education
 just because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of children’s learning ability, young people who are not affordable to be educated privately have fewer chances to get promising jobs after graduation. It is obviously true that in modern society, more and more companies are looking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applicants who completed foreign
language
 courses. According to a recent survey conducted in Korea, most companies consider the completion of foreign
language
education
 as a requirement for employment. In
this
 regard, all
students
 should learn foreign
languages
 at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 to have fair opportunities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 market after graduation. In conclusion, despite the compulsory
education
 may cause
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
 to children who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning ability, foreign
language
education
 should be designated as a mandatory subject so that
students
 can broaden their perspective on the world and have promising jobs in the future.
Submitted by shoep11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: