Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that sweetened
food
should be made more costly in order to discourage
sugar
consumption and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
ensure
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
lifestyle. I completely disagree with
this
opinion, as it is my firm belief that reduced
sugar
intake
is based on health awareness, rather than on economic incentives.
Elevation
Correct article usage
An elevation
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sugar
price
is not a solution for reducing its
intake
. The crux of
this
issue lies in the lack of healthcare awareness. Since people are unaware of potential problems associated with
over-
Correct article usage
the over-intake
show examples
intake
of
sugar
, they will continue
this
behaviour, especially those who enjoy taking desserts. Excessive
intake
of sugary foods can lead to multiple health problems,
such
as obesity, diabetes, hypertension and coronary heart disease, and the public should be educated on
this
topic. Only by enlightening teenagers, adults
as well as elderly the perils of excessive
Add the comma(s)
, as well as elderly the perils of excessive sugar intake,
show examples
sugar
intake
can bring about a drop in
sugar
usage. Another reason why
expensive
Add an article
the expensive
show examples
price
of
sugar
is unable to curb its usage is that
sugar
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
everyday
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
.
Sweetners
Correct your spelling
Sweeteners
are an essential part of our diet and it is difficult to cook a decent meal
markedly
Change preposition
with markedly
show examples
reduced
sugar
. Even if the
price
of
sugar
is elevated,
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
show examples
amount of
this
seasoning is needed for making
food
tasty and desserts attractive. If restaurants are forced to prepare
food
with less
sugar
, it is predictable that the underseasoned
food
will not be welcomed. Worse, if
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
of
sugar
was raised and become less affordable to
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
public, wealthy families may even use sugary
food
as a means to flaunt wealth.
Therefore
it is impractical to believe
this
policy is effective in limiting
sugar
use. In conclusion, it is in my opinion that
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
price
of
sugar
and related foods is not the answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
lowering its use. Given
this
situation, it seems that education on
sugar
-related health problems is the most effective method to decrease
sugar
usage.
Submitted by ichtsang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: