Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that sweetened
food
should be made more costly in order to discourage sugar
consumption and to
ensure Fix the infinitive
apply
healthier
lifestyle. I completely disagree with Add an article
a healthier
this
opinion, as it is my firm belief that reduced sugar
intake
is based on health awareness, rather than on economic incentives.
Elevation
Correct article usage
An elevation
of
Change preposition
in
sugar
price
is not a solution for reducing its intake
. The crux of this
issue lies in the lack of healthcare awareness. Since people are unaware of potential problems associated with over-
Correct article usage
the over-intake
intake
of sugar
, they will continue this
behaviour, especially those who enjoy taking desserts. Excessive intake
of sugary foods can lead to multiple health problems, such
as obesity, diabetes, hypertension and coronary heart disease, and the public should be educated on this
topic. Only by enlightening teenagers, adults as well as elderly the perils of excessive
Add the comma(s)
, as well as elderly the perils of excessive sugar intake,
sugar
intake
can bring about a drop in sugar
usage.
Another reason why expensive
Add an article
the expensive
price
of sugar
is unable to curb its usage is that sugar
is a
everyday Change the article
an
neccesity
. Correct your spelling
necessity
Sweetners
are an essential part of our diet and it is difficult to cook a decent meal Correct your spelling
Sweeteners
markedly
reduced Change preposition
with markedly
sugar
. Even if the price
of sugar
is elevated, adequate
amount of Correct article usage
an adequate
this
seasoning is needed for making food
tasty and desserts attractive. If restaurants are forced to prepare food
with less sugar
, it is predictable that the underseasoned food
will not be welcomed. Worse, if price
of Add an article
the price
sugar
was raised and become less affordable to general
public, wealthy families may even use sugary Add an article
the general
food
as a means to flaunt wealth. Therefore
it is impractical to believe this
policy is effective in limiting sugar
use.
In conclusion, it is in my opinion that rising
Correct article usage
the rising
price
of sugar
and related foods is not the answer for
lowering its use. Given Change preposition
to
this
situation, it seems that education on sugar
-related health problems is the most effective method to decrease sugar
usage.Submitted by ichtsang on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite