IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use synonyms
Environment
Add an article
The environment
show examples
 defines as
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 surroundings of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 which comprises air, water, soil, plants and other essential natural resources. It has been dilapidated drastically by the activities of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as industrialization and so on, but
this
Linking Words
 alarming situation can be curtailed with proper initiatives from both
people
Use synonyms
 and
government
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as per
requirement
Add an article
the requirement
show examples
 of
statement
Add an article
the statement
a statement
show examples
, I am going to shed my knowledge
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 have more responsibility as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 because they are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, who exploit the
environment
Use synonyms
 in some form or the
Correct pronoun usage
another
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 should take care of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 due to multiple reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of excessive resources unnecessary by human to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their greedy needs make
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
an environment
show examples
 on a degradation stage which in turn create the problem for all the living creatures because forests are
cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
show examples
 on
widespread
Add an article
the widespread
a widespread
show examples
 scale for urbanization,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 temperature is increasing which ultimately breeds many fatal ailments, so
this
Linking Words
 negative development should mitigate.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
show examples
 of toxic gases from vehicles by
people
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 tremendous damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 in the form of climate change, acid rain and many more,
hence
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 public vehicles as an alternative to keep
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 safe.
For instance
Linking Words
, Sweden is the cleanest country
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world because
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 public transport on
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can play a dramatic role in conserving
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 along with
people
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multifarious ways.
First
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can impose stringent laws and remove lax regulations for the industries and the
use
Use synonyms
 of vehicles which emit huge harmful gases and smoke.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can aware
people
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the aftermath of
damaging
Add an article
the damaging
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 thereby
people
Use synonyms
 will be meticulous
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 saving their
environment
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should promote organic farming so that
use
Use synonyms
 of fertilizers and pesticides could be reduced to a greater extent.
For instance
Linking Words
, soil fertility is imperative for
cultivation
Add an article
the cultivation
show examples
 of crops as well as for
crop's
Change noun form
crop
show examples
 rotation. In conclusion, I opine that
mindset
Correct article usage
the mindset
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 needs to be changed towards
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 for ensuring
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life for
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
show examples
 generation,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which can be feasible by the initiatives of
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environment
  • problems
  • individuals
  • government
  • solve
  • action
  • believe
  • big
  • impact
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • laws
  • reduce
  • carbon emissions
  • protect
  • planet
  • changes
  • daily life
  • recycling
  • water
  • driving
  • support
  • work together
  • voting
  • community
  • clean-up
  • policies
  • education
  • key
  • role
  • learn
  • personal
  • life
  • initiatives
  • raising awareness
  • motivate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: