IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter Explain why you would like the job Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 in regards to the advertisement in the ‘’Kids love’ magazine data October 26 . I would like to join your family to look after your child. I would like
mention
Fix the infinitive
to mention
show examples
 that not only I would like to care
babies
Change preposition
for babies
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 I have got my master ‘s science in child nursing for 3 years. I would like to work in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 field that
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my major. I have been working
Change preposition
in as
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 kids
caring
Wrong verb form
care
show examples
 in
nursery
Correct article usage
a nursery
show examples
 school for 10 years.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
 I have
experience
Change the article
the experience
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to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children who are stressed from going to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 . I think I can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your child ready
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 school. I am going
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
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 my knowledge about the diseases minors ,
thus
Linking Words
 I need a laptop which
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
 to
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 in my leisure time. When I was in your home. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully
kamran
Change the capitalization
Kamran
show examples

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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