Television has diminished the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days, most of the communities suppose that
TV
is the worse thing ever,
However
it gives more information
such
as news, and some methods
concedring
Correct your spelling
conceding
concerning
cook and so on. And many believe is not good at all. The question is
TV
Correct word choice
whether TV
show examples
has diminished the free period of society. It could do the community lazy and not
socializing
Wrong verb form
socialise
show examples
with others. In
this
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essay I am going to discuss my opinion. In terms of
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
side, as I mentioned before,
TV
has many benefits things
such
as
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
live
stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
show examples
, and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
football
Add an article
a football
the football
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
TV
makes the family happy too. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that my family prefer
watch
Add the particle
to watch
show examples
television rather than go
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
my mom,
she
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
watching
Wrong verb form
watches
show examples
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
movies and she
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
five hours every day.
In other words
,
however
, the rates these days are less
in
Change preposition
than
show examples
three years ago,
around
Change preposition
with around
show examples
30 per cent in 2022
whos
Correct your spelling
who
show examples
watching
TV
. ,
However
, the worst thing
concedrnig
Correct your spelling
concerning
television makes
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
more lazy
Replace the words
lazier
show examples
.
Firstly
, it makes
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
indiviual
Correct article usage
an indiviual
show examples
more unfit, and more
disspointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
several
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Secondly
, makes a person unhealthy.
In other words
, should put some hours. To sum up,
although
we must put some
sepecific
Correct your spelling
specific
time
about
Change preposition
into
show examples
watching
tv
,
regarless
Correct your spelling
regardless
benefits
tv
we should some rules about what we
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
as well as
concedring
Correct your spelling
conceding
concerning
therefore
, I believe that we should not spend many hours on
tv
that
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the communities more
efficients
Correct your spelling
efficient
.
Submitted by nfalfaroki on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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