A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

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These days, it has been known that
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
of society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
guaranteed by the authority.
Consequently
, there should be more allocation on defence expenditure and put less priority on social benefits. I strongly agree with the given statement.
Firstly
, safety is important to support economic stability. Many primary things depend on physical performance because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity can be reached.
For instance
, if everyone in a certain area
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
, they will have no obstacles to
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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income and pay for a tax. Spending more on safety now means reducing
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
future
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
.
For example
,
pneumoniac
Correct your spelling
pneumonia
show examples
vaccination should be managed to prevent
Add a hyphen
worst-case
show examples
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
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case scenario in the pandemic era which
then
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to inflation.
Furthermore
, by addressing urgency on security it will improve human resources qualities. If the citizens have no proper safety, their activities can be disturbed.
For instance
, in a school, students ideally have a better focus on their subjects to develop their future.
Besides
, the vulnerable people cannot stand
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
daily basis, even though their capacity includes intelligence and healthiness.
Social
Add an article
The social
A social
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asset is important to support many positive things in life, especially in terms of poverty alleviation and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
sensitive people to walk their life.
However
, I believe that social protection gives more advantages for the sake of economical condition and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
human resource's qualities.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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