A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence

These days, it has been known that

protection

Correct article usage

the protection

show examples

of society

are

Change the verb form

show examples

guaranteed by the authority.

Consequently

, there should be more allocation on defence expenditure and put less priority on social benefits. I strongly agree with the given statement.

Firstly

, safety is important to support economic stability. Many primary things depend on physical performance because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity can be reached.

For instance

, if everyone in a certain area

are

Change the verb form

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

, they will have no obstacles to

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

income and pay for a tax. Spending more on safety now means reducing

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

future

loss

Fix the agreement mistake

losses

show examples

For example

pneumoniac

Correct your spelling

pneumonia

show examples

vaccination should be managed to prevent

Add a hyphen

worst-case

show examples

worst

Correct article usage

the worst

show examples

case scenario in the pandemic era which

then

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to inflation.

Furthermore

, by addressing urgency on security it will improve human resources qualities. If the citizens have no proper safety, their activities can be disturbed.

For instance

, in a school, students ideally have a better focus on their subjects to develop their future.

Besides

, the vulnerable people cannot stand

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

daily basis, even though their capacity includes intelligence and healthiness.

Social

Add an article

The social

A social

show examples

asset is important to support many positive things in life, especially in terms of poverty alleviation and

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

sensitive people to walk their life.

However

, I believe that social protection gives more advantages for the sake of economical condition and

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

human resource's qualities.

Submitted by vmuflihahf on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

218 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a possitive or a negative development?

Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion.

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?