Some people argue that it is better for teenagers to gain work experience and learn to be more discipline through doing part-time jobs, while others believe, rather than work part-time, teenagers should take a rest adequately and do some extra-curricular activities after back from school.

#people #teenagers #gain #work #discipline #jobs #rest #activities #school

Some people argue that it is better for

teenagers

to gain

work

experience and learn to be more discipline through doing part-

time

jobs, while others believe, rather than

work

part-

time

teenagers

should take a rest adequately and do some extra-curricular

activities

after back from

school

This

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the latter. On the one hand, taking a part-

time

job

after returning from

school

can make juveniles acquire knowledge of how to

work

and make a living. That means

this

experience is something that can be obtained in a

school

. If they do the half-

time

job

, they can learn the struggle of making money,

thus

they will more value the money and spend money wisely.

Moreover

, working after

school

can make youth manage their

time

more effectively since they have other duties

besides

studying.

In other words

, they will use

time

efficiently and not waste

time

doing useless things, like scrolling on social media.

On the other hand

, students should take

time

off to relax their minds after studying at

school

This

way, studying at

school

and doing assignments require lots of

time

, mind, and energy that might lead to exhaustion.

Therefore

, it is suggested to adolescents to take proper rest after going back from

school

In addition

, adolescents need to take participate in various

activities

held by their

school

hence

they can create beautiful memories with their friends and learn how to

work

in a team. Obviously, these things can not be done if they have a

job

to do after

school

. In my opinion, doing a part-

time

job

indeed can bring some benefits to

teenagers

but making wonderful

school

memories by getting involved in numerous after-

school

activities

is way more important as we can not turn back the

time

. In conclusion, taking a half-part

time

job

could affect

teenagers

positively.

However

, I believe taking a break and being active in different

activities

can give more benefits to them as a teenager.

Submitted by miarosmia8 on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that it is better for teenagers to gain work experience and learn to be more discipline through doing part-time jobs, while others believe, rather than work part-time, teenagers should take a rest adequately and do some extra-curricular activities after back from school.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?