Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.

#computer #threats #children #health #st #century

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It is often a topic of discussion that computer

games

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are a threat to

children

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's growth. Playing excessive

games

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results in physical or mental related issues in

children

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Forthcoming

Correct article usage

The forthcoming

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paragraph

examine

Change the verb form

examines

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the problem deeply and learn the solution to resolve it. In the 21st

century

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,century

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children

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prefer to communicate with their friends and loved one's

virtually

Replace the adverb

virtual

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

playing

games

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and hosting ,gaming events are becoming more popular among the younger generation. On ,

hoilday's

Correct your spelling

holiday's

holidays

they prefer to play

games

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online

instead

Linking Words

of playing in person. The addictive nature of gaming is difficult to cure.

For instance

Linking Words

, one survey shows that

children

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's having less involvement in the real world are more likely to become unconfident and introverts in their teenage days. The solution

towards

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem would not be

straight forward

Correct your spelling

straightforward

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as it can hurt

sentiments

Correct article usage

the sentiments

show examples

children

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and they can take harsh steps. Parents and teachers should encourage

children

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to participate in activities which require physical presence.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

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a reward system can be built to promote the students, actively involved in these activities. In conclusion, problems related to

children

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should be dealt with carefully and innovative ideas are required to divert the

children

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's interest from virtual

games

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to real-life

games

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Submitted by sandeep.p1296 on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive
threats
physical health
mental health
associated
problems
solutions
address
issue
computer gaming

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Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

As countries develop, many people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

In the modern society, young people have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30's or even early 40's. This essay shall deal with the reasons for this phenomenon and the effects this has on the families and societies.