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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Do you agree or disagree? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details.

#people #life #skills #curriculum #subjects
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In our modern society, pupils learn various
subjects
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 for their future
life
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.
For example
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, they study languages, science and music.
Moreover
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, recently some citizens believe that
stutdents
Correct your spelling
students
 should learn
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 like cooking, housekeeping and gardening as compulsory
subjects
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. I agreed with
this
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 statement since
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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sikils
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skills
skill
 are vital for our
life
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.
To begin
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 with, learning
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 is more important for
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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young
Correct article usage
the young
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generaton
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generation
. 70 years ago when our grandparents worked, all
people
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 did not need to learn
life
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skills
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 because the majority of men worked outside and only women did housekeeping,
moreover
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 women had enough time to learn
such
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 things.
Conversely
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, nowadays a large number of
people
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 live alone since dozens of women have started work and become independent compared to before.
Therefore
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,
this
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 makes clear that students should learn
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 as
compulosry
Correct your spelling
compulsory
subjects
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 for living better by themselves.
In addition
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 to that, getting
real
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real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
skills
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 can increase the level of
satisfcation
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 with our
life
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.
A recent
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Recent
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 research conducted by the Japanese government has reported that
people
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 who learned
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 answered a 30
percent
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per cent
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 higher score than their
counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
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 for the question
that
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apply
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“Do you satisfy with your daily
life
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?”. One of the famous researchers called
Mr.
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Mr
show examples
 Yoshi in Tokyo university analysed that citizens with good
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 feel less stress and can live healthy because they are good at these
skills
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 thanks to the curriculum.
Thus
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, it becomes apparent that it is a wonderful idea that pupils
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
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real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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. To sum up, learning
real
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real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
skills
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 is more important compared to
berfore
Correct your spelling
before
 with the high percentage of
people
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 who living alone, as well as it makes our health condition better with less stress.
Therefore
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, I agreed with the opinion that
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
skills
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 should be included in the curriculum as compulsory
subjects
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. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, it is predicted that the number of schools which teach
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
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life
Use synonyms
skills
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for
Change preposition
to
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 children will be increased significantly in
this
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 few decades.
Submitted by lyu on

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