IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that real life skills like cooking, housekeeping and gardening should be included in the curriculum as compulsory subjects? Do you agree or disagree? Explain your opinion, using specific reasons and details.

#people #life #skills #curriculum #subjects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our modern society, pupils learn various courses for their future
life
.
For example
, they study languages, science and music.
Moreover
, recently some
citizens
 believe that students should learn real-
life
skills
 like cooking, housekeeping and gardening as compulsory subjects. I agreed with
this
 statement since these
skills
 are vital for our
life
.
To begin
 with, learning the
skills
 is more important for people, especially the young generation. 70 years ago when our grandparents worked, all men did not need to learn these
skills
 because the majority of men worked outside and only women did housekeeping,
moreover
 women had enough time to learn
such
 things.
Conversely
, nowadays a large number of
citizens
 live alone since dozens of women have started work and become independent compared to before.
Therefore
,
this
 makes clear that students should learn the
skills
 as compulsory subjects for living better by themselves.
In addition
 to that, getting real-
life
skills
 can increase the level of satisfaction with our
life
.
For instance
, recent research conducted by the Japanese government has reported that a person who learned real-the
skills
 answered a 30 per cent higher score than their counterparts for the question “Do you satisfy with your daily
life
?”.
Similarly
, One of the famous researchers called Yoshi in Tokyo university analysed that
citizens
 with good these
skills
 feel less stress and can live healthy because they are good at these
skills
 thanks to the curriculum.
Thus
, it becomes apparent that it is a wonderful idea that pupils
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 them. In conclusion, learning real-
life
skills
 is more important compared to before with the high percentage of
citizens
 who live alone, as well as it makes our health condition better with less stress.
Therefore
, I agreed with the opinion that real-
life
skills
 should be included in the curriculum as mandatory lessons. After a thorough analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that the number of schools which teach
such
skills
 to children will be increased significantly in these few decades.
Submitted by lyu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: