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Writing Samples
Band 5

People nowadays tend to take their family to another country when they work abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Growing
Add an article
A growing
The growing
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the country
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 concerned
towards
Change preposition
about
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 their education and career immigrate
to
Change preposition
apply
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abroad
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
search
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the search
a search
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 of
better
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a better
show examples
 life. As
people
Use synonyms
 settle, they prefer to take their family with them due to various reasons. The forthcoming paragraph
examin
Correct your spelling
examine
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 merits and demerits of it. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, once
individual
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an individual
the individual
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 is settled in another
country
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 and their earnings can afford the living cost of their family, they take them with
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Without a doubt, nothing is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
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 in
this
Linking Words
 world than loved
Use synonyms
one's
Change the noun form
ones
one
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. Taking care of their basic need becomes the
first
Linking Words
 priority. From my personal experience, staying away from them makes life more difficult than anyone could ever imagine.
Additionally
Linking Words
, emotional support
people
Use synonyms
 get from their close
Use synonyms
one's
Change noun form
ones
show examples
 plays
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 role in
growth
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the growth
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 of any individual. Most importantly the
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
 becomes easy for elder
people
Use synonyms
 in case of
medical
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a medical
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 emergency.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 immigrations cost a lot to
economy
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the economy
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 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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. To illustrate, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
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 when
move
Change the verb form
moving
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 from
one
Use synonyms
 location to another location they plan to stay there for
lifetime
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a lifetime
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 and their generations as well.
As a result
Linking Words
,
probability
Correct article usage
the probability
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 of losing the best
talant
Correct your spelling
talent
 becomes high.
For instance
Linking Words
,
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
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talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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 like Sundar Pichai and Sataya
Nandela
Correct your spelling
Mandela
, both are from India,
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for United State as a CEO of big companies. If they would have worked for Indian companies, India would have made a huge dent on the global level. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 should create numerous opportunities so that the
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 about moving abroad could change.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 disadvantages would always be bigger than
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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