IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

#cities #population #say #urbanization #process #neighbors #loss #community #sense #measures
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It has been observed that in most cities, the
number
 of
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing. While some are of the opinion that the urbanization process deprives us
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 knowing who our
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are, which could lead to a loss of community sense.
This
 essay suggests that the major problem associated with
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is lack of good mutual communication ,and frequent misunderstanding
amonst
Correct your spelling
amongst
among
 the
people
, and thinks that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
development of other places will help to reduce these problems.
Firstly
, when the
number
 of
people
 living in a particular area is too much,
this
 could lead to
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 ,thereby, reducing the rate at which
people
 tend to know themselves.
This
 will in turn lead to poor communication
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 themselves, as they don't even know who their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 are, and everyone
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 prefer to stay on his or her own.
Also
 when the
number
 of
people
 living in a particular area
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too much ,
this
 brings about, frequent quarrels and misunderstanding, as they will all
different
Add a missing verb
have different
show examples
 attitudes and character, which some
people
 will not be able to tolerate amongst themselves. Unlike if they were just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
, they would be able to talk to themselves easily when
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 arises.
However
 ,these problems can be tacked using some specific strategies, which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of other rural
areas
 ,which will enable some
people
 to migrate to other
areas
 , thereby, reducing the
number
 of
people
 residing in the urban
areas
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 frequent meetings should be held among residents as
this
 will help them to know each other better and encourage good communication amongst themselves. In conclusion, if
people
 living in the urban
areas
 are too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
, there tends to be
poor
Add an article
the poor
a poor
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 among them, as they tend not to know each other very well.
However
, if other rural
areas
 can be developed,
this
 will enable some
people
move
Add the particle
to move
show examples
 to those
areasz
Correct your spelling
areas
 thereby reducing
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 in urban
areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the problems associated with
urbanization
Correct article usage
the urbanization
show examples
 process.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • social cohesion
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • emotional support
  • practical support
  • community programs
  • public spaces
  • volunteering
  • neighborhood watch
  • sustainable living
  • community gardens
  • recycling programs
  • collective well-being
  • interactions
  • engaged residents
  • network of support
  • overwhelmed infrastructure
  • public health concerns
  • sense of shared responsibility
What to do next:
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