There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard Everywhere nowadays.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Research has shown that
music
Use synonyms
is an art
that is
Linking Words
loved by people.
This
Linking Words
day, there are various kinds of
music
Use synonyms
heard around the globe. There are numerous
reasons
Use synonyms
we need
music
Use synonyms
and I believe that traditional
music
Use synonyms
of a country is greatly
essential
Correct quantifier usage
more essential
show examples
than foreign
music
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
are discussed below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the
reasons
Use synonyms
we need
music
Use synonyms
is that it gives
inspiration
Change the article
the inspiration
show examples
to create
music
Use synonyms
. Listening to
music
Use synonyms
has really made people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
discover their own talent leading to
creation
Add an article
the creation
show examples
of their own
music
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a gospel musician named Mercy started her
music
Use synonyms
career at the age of 30 after
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
inspired by
chioma
Change the capitalization
Chioma
show examples
Jesu's
music
Use synonyms
who is
also
Linking Words
her mentor.
In addition
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
helps to relieve stress,pain and anxiety. It serves as a source of psychotherapy
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
aids relaxation.
For example
Linking Words
. A state teaching hospital in Anambra state plays
music
Use synonyms
therapy for their patients who have stress and anxiety disorder and it has been very effective for clients' recovery.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Local
music
Use synonyms
is more important than international
music
Use synonyms
because it creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital part of people's cultural heritage
that is
Linking Words
never forgotten. It preserved for generations. Take
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Anambra state Nigeria they are known for
this
Linking Words
traditional
music
Use synonyms
called
egedege
Correct your spelling
edge
music
Use synonyms
. More so, local
music
Use synonyms
strengthens national unity thereby reducing riots or war within a country. To give an example, in October 2020 during
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
SARS protest in Nigeria,the Protesters were chanting local
music
Use synonyms
for peace and unity which
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the end yielded fruitful
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. Conclusively, there are myriads of
reasons
Use synonyms
why we need
music
Use synonyms
. Chief among these
reasons
Use synonyms
is
relieve
Replace the word
relief
show examples
from stress and anxiety and
also
Linking Words
being a source of inspiration . As explained in the essay , traditional
music
Use synonyms
brings the nation together.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: