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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, small town-center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-center #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #out-of #town #change
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In modern countries, small businesses including small shops are mostly settling in
suberbs
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 wich
this
Linking Words
 cause citizens opt to drive more
distanses
Correct your spelling
distances
distance
 for visiting
this
Linking Words
 shops and buying the things they need.
consequensly
Correct your spelling
consequently
,
this
Linking Words
 could lead to traffic and crowdy
atomsphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 of
littele
Correct your spelling
little
 towns too. I think even though
this
Linking Words
 change could help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the growth of little towns but overall
this
Linking Words
 change does more harm than good. On the one hand, when
mass
Add an article
the mass
a mass
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 travelling long distances only
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the purpose of shipping they may get tired of
this
Linking Words
 mostly
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 drive. As a
reasult
Correct your spelling
result
, their
tempet
Correct your spelling
temper
tempest
tempt
 and mood could suffer and
this
Linking Words
 could lead to verbal fights
wirh
Correct your spelling
with
 sellers or other fellow
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, the increasing number of road accidents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a major problem for countries. Travelling to another city only
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the purpose of shopping could be turned
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a
hazzard
Correct your spelling
hazard
 activity as
people
Use synonyms
 may have road accidents which could create many other unnecessary problems.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the trend toward sopping in large stores located far away from
cities
Use synonyms
 could cause a negative impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. increase in travelling to these shops will encourage others to take
taxi
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a taxi
show examples
 and reach to
destination
Add an article
the destination
a destination
show examples
 even
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 they do not own a car.
Also
Linking Words
, Traffic congestion could be problematic if many tend to use their private cars to
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
 long distances.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means more
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer from
time wasting
Add a hyphen
time-wasting
show examples
 and staying in traffic.
However
Linking Words
, the change of
people
Use synonyms
 shopping
preferance
Correct your spelling
preference
preferences
 may encourage them to move to
suberbs
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 and live outside of
cities
Use synonyms
. Given the fact that modern
cities
Use synonyms
 are faced with overpopulation and
consequently
Linking Words
 ever-growing progress
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 supplying places for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 stores,
people
Use synonyms
 may consider the option of moving from
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 more than ever. In conclusion, the trend toward shopping from distance shopping
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 may cause some advantages but I
dubt
Correct your spelling
doubt
 that the trend could promise any significant outcome.
Submitted by parafik on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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