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Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people aroung the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #aroung #world #case
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Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
show examples
 in technology and negative effects
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 affected the agricultural lands adversely. The upgrading made in agriculture is not helpful because most
people
Use synonyms
 are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 it and
this
Linking Words
 is the reason
farmers
Use synonyms
 sleep hungry on global
scales
Fix the agreement mistake
scale
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. They don’t earn what they deserve. I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 opinions below in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Farmers
Use synonyms
 are working hard by giving proper time and care to their fields for profitable yield.
People
Use synonyms
 are unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the harmful effects of the increasing pollution and chemical use
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the crops. The expenses and efforts they put on the field
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not rewarding and
this
Linking Words
 is either less profitable or just equal
the
Change preposition
to the
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 amount
that is
Linking Words
 spent. Sometimes, the market price is
also
Linking Words
 the reason that leads to loss because the value
that is
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 polled is usually not acceptable, but they do not have a choice sometimes. There is one more thing
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accurate fertilizer use is less, and the same type of crop is grown every time that depreciates the quality of
Use synonyms
soil
Add an article
the soil
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. Advancements in technology and science have brought up several methods and
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 that not only save time but
also
Linking Words
 help in understanding the root cause of the improper yield. There are institutes that check the fertility of the
soil
Use synonyms
 and help
farmers
Use synonyms
 decide what crop is best to grow and will earn them profit. The fertility of the
soil
Use synonyms
 decreases when the nutrients are used up by the crops. So,
farmers
Use synonyms
 should grow different food in the same
soil
Use synonyms
 to help
soil
Use synonyms
 restore the lost nutrients from the previous plantation. To conclude, I would say many
people
Use synonyms
 doing farming are familiar with these technologies and techniques that can do them a lot better. There must be seminars held to educate them about the processes, positive outcomes and the use. Nowadays, everyone has a smartphone and uses social sites, the video footage is another way to spread useful information among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. Not only hard work but smart work is
also
Linking Words
 necessary for a better life.
Submitted by essandhu00 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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