IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sport #art #school #sports #events #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sport
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
 are important activities that make
people
Use synonyms
 healthier. It is not only a healthy body but a healthy mind too. I believe that the government should encourage the promotion of professional
sport
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
 in
communities
Use synonyms
 more than in
school
Use synonyms
 The upcoming paragraphs will analyze two factors that contribute to
this
Linking Words
 affirmation, as well as my personal opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
communities
Use synonyms
 is much more than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 if the government support it in
communities
Use synonyms
 many
people
Use synonyms
 will take benefit more than supporting it in
school
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are diverse
people
Use synonyms
 in
communities
Use synonyms
, different gender, different age, and different cultures than in
school
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I disagree if the government spend money on promoting
sport
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
, rather than supporting professional
sport
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
 because the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
communities
Use synonyms
 is much more than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 and there are diverse
people
Use synonyms
 in
communities
Use synonyms
 more than in
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kimfairyxq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: