It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to the development of individuals and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfill both these functions?
Many are of the belief that desirable education which can improve different aspects of
people
's personality, can create ideal conditions for society
. In this
essay, I will discuss the effect of effective education on the well-being of societies, then
, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
As we know, Purposeful training develops all skills
of individuals. If parents, officials and even governments in society
consider improving personal skills
. In fact, they provide good conditions for children who can make themselves future and their society
due to
their society
's needs. It means if
we have a practical evaluation system in the education system that can identify the fields and jobs needed by the community Correct word choice
apply
as well as
talented individuals in schools, universities and colleges.even ordinary people
whit
normal ability and talent. Correct your spelling
with
Then
, they should be guided to the suitable positions which have the best situation for them due to
their abilities. When they finished
their training can be useful citizens and can support their Wrong verb form
finish
society
whit
its Correct your spelling
with
skills
as well as
well behaved.
In addition
, college can create practical skills
and improve them until making
a professional person in that field. Verb problem
you become
For example
, a professional repairman can fix a device well and at a reasonable cost and provide a calm sense for its customer. These such
actions lead Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
to success
In conclusion, people
's knowledge always in society
provide good condition for that society
which
, Change preposition
in which
people
can handle all of the jobs and all task very well and all of the citizens have a sense of well-being and calm about each other.Submitted by salehi19862 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but lack depth and clarity. Work on providing a clear, comprehensive response to the essay prompt, and include relevant, specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks a comprehensive response. You should focus on providing a more detailed and complete analysis of the impact of effective education on the well-being of societies. Additionally, include relevant, specific examples to support your arguments.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...