IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is generally believed that education is of vital importance to the development of individuals and the well-being of societies. What should education consist of to fulfill both these functions?

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Many are of the belief that desirable education which can improve different aspects of
people
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's personality, can create ideal conditions for
society
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the effect of effective education on the well-being of societies,
then
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, followed by a reasoned conclusion. As we know, Purposeful training develops all
skills
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 of individuals. If parents, officials and even governments in
society
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 consider improving personal
skills
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. In fact, they provide good conditions for children who can make themselves future and their
society
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due to
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 their
society
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's needs. It means
if
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apply
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we have a practical evaluation system in the education system that can identify the fields and jobs needed by the community
as well as
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 talented individuals in schools, universities and colleges.even ordinary
people
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whit
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with
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 normal ability and talent.
Then
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, they should be guided to the suitable positions which have the best situation for them
due to
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 their abilities. When they
finished
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finish
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 their training can be useful citizens and can support their
society
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whit
Correct your spelling
with
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 its
skills
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as well as
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 well behaved.
In addition
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, college can create practical
skills
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 and improve them until
making
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you become
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 a professional person in that field.
For example
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, a professional repairman can fix a device well and at a reasonable cost and provide a calm sense for its customer. These
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such
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apply
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actions lead
the
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apply
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society
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 to success In conclusion,
people
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's knowledge always in
society
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 provide good condition for that
society
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which
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in which
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,
people
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 can handle all of the jobs and all task very well and all of the citizens have a sense of well-being and calm about each other.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but lack depth and clarity. Work on providing a clear, comprehensive response to the essay prompt, and include relevant, specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks a comprehensive response. You should focus on providing a more detailed and complete analysis of the impact of effective education on the well-being of societies. Additionally, include relevant, specific examples to support your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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