band One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#band #consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the modern world , implementing improvements in the medical industry has increased

life

Use synonyms

expectancy. Respect the past, a large part of the population

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

enjoy medical care,

while

Linking Words

in the past was accessible to only a few

people

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

Correct article usage

show examples

long

life

Use synonyms

is only desirable if you can look after yourself. In the essay below I will discuss all the

vantages

Correct your spelling

advantages

show examples

and advantages and if the advantages

outwegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages. Living longer is not a synonym for health.

Firstly

Linking Words

, In the Hospitals, there are many old

people

Use synonyms

suffering from mental pathologies ,

while

Linking Words

there are other patients with more serious illnesses ,that cannot be medical provided because of short beds.

Secondly

Linking Words

, Not all can take care of their parents for various reasons, lack of money , not enough time etc.

Moreover

Linking Words

causing problems in their personal

life

Use synonyms

. In society not, all can afford the costs that medical care has which is traduct in discrepancy. There are a lot of positive aspects, grandparents , if they are in healthy condition, can teach the values to the children and help their parents during

the

Change the word

their

show examples

job time and

also

Linking Words

older

people

Use synonyms

have more experience than us and we can learn a lot from them. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, I think that some

people

Use synonyms

deserve a longer

life

Use synonyms

, after spending a

life

Use synonyms

doing a hard job and building something. I'm convinced that there are more positive aspects than negatives.

Submitted by davidestec11 on Fri Jun 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

235 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?
In some countries, the retired people tend to choose to live outside from their original country. Obviously, they have their own reasons why they want to live like this. Certainly, there are the merits and drawbacks of this decision. The merit is they spend their retirement season in a peaceful place and the drawback is they possibly live far away from their whole family.
7
band
In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?
It is undeniable that individualism has increased significantly among societies for the reason of increasing personal performance. Whether this phenomenon is either positive or negative is questionable. I believe, however, that it could have a positive impact on people’s lives. This essay will extensively outline why this could be a positive occurrence.
6
band
Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Evil, wicked, spoiled.
A growing interest in children’s behaviour has been highlighted over the past decades. From this aspect, questions about if children behave badly, their parents should accept obligation and be punished for the behaviour of their children arise. In my opinion, parents should accept responsibility and also be punished to some extent.
5.5
band
Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to express my interest in my son's attendant to your school. We are going to move to this city from another one located five hours by car. That is why I am planning everything before our new relocation.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Locals in certain countries are keen to discover the history of the house or building where they live. This curiosity often stems from the beauty of its architectural design or inspiration from films. There are several ways to fulfill this curiosity, such as asking elders or visiting public libraries.

band One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Evil, wicked, spoiled.

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?