band One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#band #consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

In the modern world , implementing improvements in the medical industry has increased

life

expectancy. Respect the past, a large part of the population

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

enjoy medical care,

while

in the past was accessible to only a few

people

However

Correct article usage

show examples

long

life

is only desirable if you can look after yourself. In the essay below I will discuss all the

vantages

Correct your spelling

advantages

show examples

and advantages and if the advantages

outwegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages. Living longer is not a synonym for health.

Firstly

, In the Hospitals, there are many old

people

suffering from mental pathologies ,

while

there are other patients with more serious illnesses ,that cannot be medical provided because of short beds.

Secondly

, Not all can take care of their parents for various reasons, lack of money , not enough time etc.

Moreover

causing problems in their personal

life

. In society not, all can afford the costs that medical care has which is traduct in discrepancy. There are a lot of positive aspects, grandparents , if they are in healthy condition, can teach the values to the children and help their parents during

the

Change the word

their

show examples

job time and

also

older

people

have more experience than us and we can learn a lot from them. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, I think that some

people

deserve a longer

life

, after spending a

life

doing a hard job and building something. I'm convinced that there are more positive aspects than negatives.

Submitted by davidestec11 on Fri Jun 10 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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band One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A poor infrastructure hinders under developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

Fast food is becoming pert of life everywhere, negatively affecting our lifestyles and diets. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at art institution or organization as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages .