IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many youngsters do unpaid work to help their local community,which benefits both themselves and society.Some people believe that all teenagers should thus be required to do unpaid work in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
There is no doubt that these days, In
this
Linking Words
, generation, we have many
teenagers
Use synonyms
 who not working In
this
Linking Words
, lifetime. they
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to enjoy themselves with friends, and video games, they should
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 something
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for them. The question is
many
Correct word choice
whether many
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 make unpaid work to assist their local society, which
Add a missing verb
is useful
show examples
useful
Replace the word
uses
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 themselves and
Correct your spelling
community
commentary
communtiy
Correct article usage
the communtiy
show examples
. several of the community suppose that all youngsters should
thus
Linking Words
 exist required to make unpaid work in their free period. In
this
Linking Words
,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 terms of the positive side, several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the social media
such
Linking Words
 as tik tok,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
snapchat
Change the capitalization
Snapchat
show examples
.
thses
Correct your spelling
these
 apps are more
creaitve
Correct your spelling
creative
 In
this
Linking Words
, generation because they got money from these apps. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that David Beckham
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
invensment
Correct your spelling
investment
 from his club New York FC, he got a
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 dollars from his club. To illustrate, another thing about David Beckham he has many hospitals
aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
Body paragraph 2
,
Moreover
Linking Words
, Halland, he professional player, and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
21 years old who has now
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
a
milion
Correct your spelling
million
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 from football. Now he
transfer
Change the verb form
transfers
show examples
 to Man City, he got a salary 375,000
dollal
Correct your spelling
dollar
 per week, that incredible idea to make money from 21 years old.
Conclusion
To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
teenagers
Add an article
the teenagers
show examples
 did not
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 enough,
however
Linking Words
, many
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media from making money, and
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 I believe that we seem to be
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good teenager
good teenagers
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in the future
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 the
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are doing well with social media and
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
more
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 will
happening
Change the verb form
happen
be happening
show examples
 in the future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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