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Band 4.5

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #time #malls #society
It is true that many teenagers nowadays spend too much of their leisure
time
 in shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
However
, I disagree with the
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
idea that it may be potentially harmful to young
people
 and
society
 as a whole. In
this
 essay, I will explore the subject and share why I disagree with the statement mentioned above.
Although
 some
people
 agree that shopping in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 spare
time
 for youngsters can negatively affect both youths and
society
,
To begin
 with, in my humble opinion, shopping can be beneficial to juveniles.
For instance
, after they are back from school or university, they should have
time
 to rewind themselves by shopping, etc.
Because nowadays
Correct word choice
Nowadays
show examples
,
people
 tend to increase their stress levels every day, and
by reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
 that, shopping at a shopping mall would be one of the best places for them.
Moreover
, especially for adolescents,
this
 can
also
 be a
time
 to try to organise their own finances.
Secondly
, every young person must already know what should be bought in order to get the most benefits from it and whether it is worth their
parents
' or their own money. Even though some individuals claim that shopping for youngsters in their spare
time
 can
also
 have a negative impact on
society
, I completely disagree with the notion.
Firstly
, if a group of young
people
 were always treated by their
parents
 all the
time
,
such
 as buying everything for them or never letting them know how finances work, that would be challenging for them in the
upcoming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
future.
As a result
,
parents
 should teach their
children
 (or
children
) how to shop properly. Because,
for instance
, in Switzerland,
people
 there don't tend to buy inexpensive but bad-quality goods. They teach their
people
 to buy things that are affordable and
also
 stay in the long term. Another significant benefit of shopping for
tennagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 is that they may realize the worth of money given to them by their
parents
 or themselves. In conclusion, some argue that buying things for
children
 in their spare
time
 has a negative social impact.
However
,
this
 essay disagrees that it could be harmful to young
people
 and
society
 in general.
Because
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
 issue can be solved by educating kids (or
children
) to have proper shopping skills.
Submitted by Blue Hydrangea on

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