Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
It is true that many teenagers nowadays spend too much of their leisure
time
in shopping centers
. Change the spelling
centres
However
, I disagree with the given
idea that it may be potentially harmful to young Verb problem
apply
people
and society
as a whole. In this
essay, I will explore the subject and share why I disagree with the statement mentioned above.
Although
some people
agree that shopping in the
spare Change the word
their
time
for youngsters can negatively affect both youths and society
, To begin
with, in my humble opinion, shopping can be beneficial to juveniles. For instance
, after they are back from school or university, they should have time
to rewind themselves by shopping, etc. Because nowadays
, Correct word choice
Nowadays
people
tend to increase their stress levels every day, and by reducing
that, shopping at a shopping mall would be one of the best places for them. Change preposition
to reduce
Moreover
, especially for adolescents, this
can also
be a time
to try to organise their own finances. Secondly
, every young person must already know what should be bought in order to get the most benefits from it and whether it is worth their parents
' or their own money.
Even though some individuals claim that shopping for youngsters in their spare time
can also
have a negative impact on society
, I completely disagree with the notion. Firstly
, if a group of young people
were always treated by their parents
all the time
, such
as buying everything for them or never letting them know how finances work, that would be challenging for them in the upcoming
future. Correct word choice
apply
As a result
, parents
should teach their children
(or children
) how to shop properly. Because, for instance
, in Switzerland, people
there don't tend to buy inexpensive but bad-quality goods. They teach their people
to buy things that are affordable and also
stay in the long term. Another significant benefit of shopping for tennagers
is that they may realize the worth of money given to them by their Correct your spelling
teenagers
parents
or themselves.
In conclusion, some argue that buying things for children
in their spare time
has a negative social impact. However
, this
essay disagrees that it could be harmful to young people
and society
in general. Because
Correct word choice
This
this
issue can be solved by educating kids (or children
) to have proper shopping skills.Submitted by Blue Hydrangea
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that the main points and examples are more effectively supported and developed to strengthen the essay's argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to create a clearer and more cohesive structure, ensuring that each paragraph relates clearly to the overall argument.