Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is obvious that extreme
sports
are increasingly popular among
people
in recent years. Some argue that the government should restrict
people
from
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
them because of the possibility of accidents. I completely disagree with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
notion that they are too dangerous and should be banned. In my opinion, so-called extreme
sports
are not as risky as
people
consider. All
sports
, in fact, involve some
elements
Replace the word
element
show examples
of risk and there should always be clear regulations and safety procedures.
Moreover
,
people
who take part in extreme
sports
are required to undergo
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper training in advance. Take ‘Sky Diving’ as an example, a participant has to join a registered club at
first
and
then
after passing through provided mental and physical tests, he can do
further
flying and sky diving.
Additionally
, beginners are not allowed to
dive
Correct your spelling
drive
show examples
solo in
this
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. In fact, they are accompanied by an experienced professional during the course. It,
therefore
, can be said that the rate of serious injuries can be minimized
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
way.
In addition
to my argument, in today’s world of democratic societies,
people
have their own
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to do whatever they like. It would be unfair for a person to be limited
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
enjoying himself.
Moreover
, even a strong argument against
this
ban would be difficult of enforcing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, which means most risky
sports
like sea-wave surfing and alpine skiing are
practiced
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practised
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far away from
reach
Correct article usage
the reach
show examples
of any authorities. For
this
reason,
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
my point of view, it would be a better idea for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to help
sports
enthusiasts by providing renovated safety measures and other technological supports
such
as GPS and satellites
instead
of curbing them.
Submitted by toryaung on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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