Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#men #woman #care #appearance

Nowadays, personal image plays an important role for human beings.

Compare

Wrong verb form

Compared

show examples

to the

old-time

Correct your spelling

old times

show examples

, individuals really

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

on their looks from the outside recently. I totally agree with

this

statement, I believe with the progress of society and the development of technology, people have changed their attitudes and consumption habits in buying fashionable goods.

This

essay will discuss the reasons why humans consider that appearance is more vital in present than before. First and foremost, thanks to the progress of society, there are more and more international chains for clothing popping out in the cities.

This

is more convenient for customers to know different brands around the world, recognize the latest fashions, and shop for the trendiest clothes of the season.

Besides

, most of the shops offer standard purchaser services,

for instance

, free shipping, free return, and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

free delivery. Which is way more suitable than the past community.

As a result

, citizens really spend a lot of money on their images.

Moreover

due to

the development of technology, social media has become one of the elements of our lives. Users are keen on posting photos, selfies, or short videos on their own platforms day by day. They found of sharing their daily life, demonstrating their daily outfits, and proving to others how fancy their being is,

therefore

this

also

how the word “OOTD” came from – an outfit of the day.

As a consequence

, both males and females are used to compare

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each person and even ask themselves to illustrate different styles on each post. In conclusion, in

this

digital era, a respectable look is of greater significance and much more reachable the history.

Finally

, the purpose of wearing clothes for a person is not only because of living but

also

to seek their own superiority of appearance.

Submitted by amywei2006888 on Sat Jun 11 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.

task response

Address the specific question more directly and give a balanced argument with clear examples. Make sure to cover all aspects of the topic and provide a clear opinion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
beauty and personal care industry
societal norms
health and fitness
celebrity culture
technology advancements
cosmetic surgery
dermatology treatments
mental health awareness
self-esteem

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