IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology. Why? Is this a good or bad thing?

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In contemporary settings,
people
Use synonyms
 are more fascinated to purchase new cutting-edge
devices
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 which
this
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 situation will cause bring advantages and drawbacks in equal measures. Purchasing new
devices
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 depends on some things
such
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 as economic growth and features of new
devices
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 which are developed day by day and
this
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 causes to contribute
people
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 to change their gadgets by a new version in order to be updated in technology and
this
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trend
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 will lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 the solid waste and will cause to increase the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of greenhouse gases into
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
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 .
Moreover
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, buying new
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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the relationship between
people
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 and family members since
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
devices
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 have
new
Add an article
a new
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application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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 which causes to more searching on the phone and individuals are more interested
for
Change the preposition
in
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 using new
devices
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as a result
Linking Words
 of discussed
trend
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people
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 will struggle to use new gadgets and
this
Linking Words
trend
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 will affect on their health.
By contrast
Linking Words
, producing more and more
devices
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 by companies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages for rising economic and employment situation since more production needs more labour so
people
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 have been more interested to be
undated
Correct your spelling
updated
show examples
 and improve their skills and knowledge by new
devices
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 which added new technology compared the old ones
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 instance, new gadgets have new functions
such
Linking Words
 as measures the blood pressure or
hart
Correct your spelling
heart
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 beats when you doing exercise. In conclusion,
people
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 are more fascinated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 using new
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 due to discussed ideas above which we acknowledged the
prose
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons of
this
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trend
Use synonyms
 are equal.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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