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Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology. Why? Is this a good or bad thing?

#people #models #phones #computers #technology
In contemporary settings,
people
 are more fascinated to purchase new cutting-edge
devices
 which
this
 situation will cause bring advantages and drawbacks in equal measures. Purchasing new
devices
 depends on some things
such
 as economic growth and features of new
devices
 which are developed day by day and
this
 causes to contribute
people
 to change their gadgets by a new version in order to be updated in technology and
this
trend
 will lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 the solid waste and will cause to increase the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of greenhouse gases into
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
 .
Moreover
, buying new
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the relationship between
people
 and family members since
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
devices
 have
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 which causes to more searching on the phone and individuals are more interested
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 using new
devices
as a result
 of discussed
trend
people
 will struggle to use new gadgets and
this
trend
 will affect on their health.
By contrast
, producing more and more
devices
 by companies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages for rising economic and employment situation since more production needs more labour so
people
 have been more interested to be
undated
Correct your spelling
updated
show examples
 and improve their skills and knowledge by new
devices
 which added new technology compared the old ones
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, new gadgets have new functions
such
 as measures the blood pressure or
hart
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
 beats when you doing exercise. In conclusion,
people
 are more fascinated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 using new
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 due to discussed ideas above which we acknowledged the
prose
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons of
this
trend
 are equal.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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