IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Student perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished?

#student #school
In the salad days of the millennium,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is polarized into two groups almost equally regarding the notion that learners do better perform in institutions when they are rewarded rather than punished. Different people have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
distinct
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
. The following paragraphs would shed light on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approaches before making a final note. To commence with the
first
 notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
.
First
 and foremost, offering prizes to pupils in the class make a strong bond between teachers and tutees.
As a result
, they can ask to help from their teacher with any questions without hesitation.
Secondly
, it motivates them to be good
students
.
In addition
, graduates will try to do numerous experiments without any terror in the academy which will boost their confidence.
Furthermore
, Scholars do their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 with concentration to achieve higher grades in exams by it, which is extremely fruitful for their careers. Shifting towards the
second
 school of thought, giving torture to
students
 makes them responsible for their work.
Thus
, they will do their homework on the time without any delay.
Additionally
, some pupils are extremely naughty in the school, which creates discipline in the class among them. Since they will fear getting punishment by their teachers in front of others. Having discussed the arguments and
Add a hyphen
counter-arguments
show examples
counter arguments
Correct your spelling
counterarguments
show examples
, I would like to infer that
students
 should be rewarded in the college by their trainers
instead
 of punishment. To justify my state of mind, there is an instance of my sister was weak in math, she hardly got passing marks in term exams but when she knows about rewards, she started to do hard work and achieved 100 out of 95 marks in the final exam and received reward front of everyone. Hammering the
last
 nail, I personally feel that reward is more beneficial than punishment. If
students
 get rewards from schools, they will study hard and they will attend regular classes without any fear.
Submitted by sraparamjeet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: