Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.other however say that this would have little effect on public health and other majores are required.discuss both this view and give yourown opinion.

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It is often argued that voluntary service must be included in
secondary
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the secondary
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school
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curriculum. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion and I will
further
Linking Words
explain why in
this
Linking Words
essay
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
students should be involved in support services.
To begin
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, there are various reasons why I believe that high
school
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students are able to benefit from doing unpaid
works
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work
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.
Firstly
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, these activities
helps
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help
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them to work as a team and make new friends. Volunteering is a great way to meet and work with people with common interests and thereby, helps to broaden their support network as well as making them
to
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apply
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achieve a set goal.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
self confidence
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self-confidence
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and
building
Correct article usage
the building
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of high
self esteem
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self-esteem
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
another benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
other benefits
show examples
of voluntary services. It helps to build and develop a natural feeling of accomplishment as it gives an identity to feel better about yourself and provides life satisfaction.
For instance
Linking Words
, being involved in environmental services, one will be happy to see that air pollution,
Correct word choice
and wastes
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wastes
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waste
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, have greatly reduced due to the energy channelled into keeping the community clean.
In addition
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, Volunteering helps to fight depression among adolescents. There is no doubt that if
high
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the high
a high
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school
Use synonyms
allows cheerful activities, it will help them to effectively spend their time on what is profitable and
also
Linking Words
reduce social isolation which is a risk factor for depression as
this
Linking Words
makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be in contact with others thereby improving mood and reducing stress and anxiety. In conclusion, I am in support that unpaid community activities should be included as an integral part of high
school
Use synonyms
programmes because it helps them to work as a team, meet new friends, builds
self confidence
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self-confidence
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and image and
also
Linking Words
fights depression.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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