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Writing Samples
Band 5

The continued rise in the worlds population is the greatest problem faced by the humanity at the present time What are the causes of this continuous rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by the humanity?

The rise in the world's population is alarming as the current population is already crossed the estimated capacity to accommodate
people
Use synonyms
. Some individuals claim that
further
Linking Words
 increases cause greater damage to the current generation. I agree that
overpopulation
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 leads to a plethora of problems among which
unemployment
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 and food scarcity are major issues. To commence with, the main root cause for
overpopulation
Use synonyms
 is due government child benefits and
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
First
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 and foremost, in some countries, policymakers made regulations to provide child benefits for parents due to which some
people
Use synonyms
 give birth to more babies as
this
Linking Words
 provides additional income to support families.
For example
Linking Words
, The Canadian government donates up to 500$ per month to guardians until they reach 18 years.
Besides
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 government perks, the other reason is
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy, due to advanced medical technology the
life
Use synonyms
 span of human beings across the globe is significantly increased. As per a recent survey conducted by the World Health
Organisation
Add a comma
,Organisation
show examples
 an average
life
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 span is increased to 75years from 68years in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Thus
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, the main reasons for rising are due to encouragement from certain national authorities and a greater
Use synonyms
life-span
Correct your spelling
lifespan
show examples
.
Although
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overpopulation
Use synonyms
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 too many problems among which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
sacrcity
Correct your spelling
scarcity
 and
unemployment
Use synonyms
 are
topmost
Correct article usage
the topmost
show examples
 challenges.
Firstly
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,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
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 is directly proportional to the requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 food, as everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a meal to survive;
however
Linking Words
, already many nations are facing scarcity
further
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
collapse
Correct article usage
the collapse
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 supply due to more demand.
In addition
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 to scarcity,
unemployment
Use synonyms
 is another major problem, it is challenging for governments across the globe to provide job opportunities to everyone which is already a greater challenge for many communities and
unemployment
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been in
headlines
Correct article usage
the headlines
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many newspapers.
As a result
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, authorities could increase
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of groceries and employment to accommodate more
people
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, to recapitulate,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is growing at
alarming
Add an article
an alarming
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 rate due to child benefits provided by governments to parents and
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy. Some citizens believe
this
Linking Words
 trend has to be stopped. In my perspective, I support their statement
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
 the aforementioned challenges with
overpopulation
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the unavailability of groceries and jobs.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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