IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#shortage #cities #consequences #government #action
Metropolitan cities face a severe
shortage
 of accommodation  leading to declining health and rising crimes.,
Apparently
Add a comma
,Apparently
show examples
 the issue can be tackled  only by a government intervention either by putting a limit on
on
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the entry of new people into cities or by expanding the urban region.The public contribution is limited in solving the issue as the root cause of the
shortage
 of
land
 remains unresolved.   Since the basic issue lies in the lack of space for building houses,the community has a limited role in executing a long-term solution.Temporarily,they may resolve
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
 by sharing homes or residing in the countryside and travelling daily for jobs.The former solution can result in poor  health due to overcrowding and lack of adequate basic facilities while the latter would cause mental stress to those commuting long distances daily.Both these would affect the productivity of these people in their jobs. The government can make a marked change in
this
 situation by restricting the entry for new residents as that can give more time to solve the current housing issues.
Then
 the administration should ensure that the population is proportionate to the
land
 available and take measures to sustainably build adequate housing apartments.An alternative solution wud be by subsuming nearby farmland or expanding the outskirts of cities so as to provide the required amount of
land
 for building suburbs.   In conclusion,I believe that the housing
shortage
 in metropolia can be effectively solved by the government either by having a practical ratio of citizens with
land
 or by expanding the
land
 to build new residences.City folks have a limited role as they can only adapt to the available accommodation though it is with great difficulty.
Submitted by gokulraj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: