Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many
people
accept that academic knowledge at
university
should be
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
more priority than
vocational
Add an article
a vocational
show examples
training
course
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courses
show examples
. While I concede that studying an academic
course
could bring about enormous and positive advantages to society, I believe that enhancing the qualities of manual
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
such
as electricians and plumbers should
also
be improved. On the one hand, there
are
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is
show examples
a variety of
reason
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reasons
show examples
why
people
should enter high education. One reason is that graduated
students
from
university
or college may have more
oppotunity
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opportunity
to get highly-paid jobs or to get better positions than the ones from vocational
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
courses. They are likely to acquire professional knowledge which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to obtain particular accomplishment in their jobs.
Moreover
, studying at
university
give
students
more chance to expand their social relationship. Take economic
students
for an example, the corporate
intership
Correct your spelling
internship
during the period of their learning process
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
them to a lot of companies,
Correct your spelling
organizations
organizationes
Correct word choice
and organizationes
show examples
where they can have the direct interaction with their major’s successful
people
.
On the other hand
, nobody can deny the need for vocational training.
Firstly
, In term of
Correct article usage
the times
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for completing vocational courses, it
take
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takes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
two
Change preposition
than two
show examples
times rather than
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
from ordinary colleges or
university
. Indeed, in many countries,
this
is the more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
path which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
early to earn money to make ends meet.
Secondly
, there are a number of
students
who do not have connate
elevent
Correct your spelling
event
relevant
eleventh
to join traditional academic environment. The chances for them to be trained in whatever they want are really
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. In conclusion, the choice
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
vocational
Add an article
a vocational
the vocational
show examples
course
or academic
course
is depend. Both cognitive and manual skills are necessary for different parts of our life. The development for all of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
aspects should be considered carefully
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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