People doing dangerous sports activities should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing the sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #activities #life #rescue #workers #risk #lives

Nowadays, more and more people are engaging in extreme sports. There is an opinion that those people should take care of their own safety and that rescuers should not put their

lives

in danger because of them. Personally, I do not completely agree with

this

opinion and the reasons will be indicated in

this

essay.

Firstly

, everyone has their own right to participate in hazardous activities if they are their hobby. In fact, many extreme sports

such

as snowboarding, rock climbing, bungee jumping, and others allow one to feel the freedom to challenge

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

oneself

show examples

, both physically and psychologically.

Furthermore

although

these sports could be defined as “extreme”

due to

their tendency to be dangerous, participants can lower the risk by training and using proper safety equipment.

Hence

, it is acceptable to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in high-risk activities only if they are aware of the danger and evaluate their self-capacities carefully.

Secondly

, the main job of a rescuer is to save

lives

in a dangerous environment. Rescuer workers are professionally

well trained

Add a hyphen

well-trained

show examples

Thus

, they should certainly make an effort within their limits to try and save wounded people despite what they have done.

However

this

does not mean that rescuers should risk their

lives

. The situation should be assessed carefully before operating the rescue so that no one should be damaged

from

Change preposition

show examples

the actions of a wrongdoer. In conclusion, it is understandable why many individuals seek excitement from daredevil activities

due to

the powerful experience or adrenaline rush that they give.

Nevertheless

, not any valuable

lives

should be wasted in order to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in self-destructive tendencies.

Submitted by phn.anh87 on Mon Jun 13 2022

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task response

Provide more specific and contextual examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically linked throughout the essay.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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