The crime rate among teenager has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons with this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenager #countries

In human developmental progress, adolescence is a tender age prone to either good or bad influences depending on their outside environment and conditions. In many

countries

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,countries

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it is evident that crimes committed by

teenagers

has

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have

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increased sharply. Numerous reasons can be attributed to

this

problem.

However

, in my

opinion

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,opinion

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poverty and lack of accessibility to

adequate

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an adequate

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education

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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two of the main reasons for

this

phenomenon.

Therefore

, measures should be taken

towards

Change preposition

toward

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eliminating these two challenges in order to decrease the crime rate among

young

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the young

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generation.

For

instance

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,instance

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in Mongolia very high percentage

unemployed

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of unemployed

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people are not eligible for

unemployment

Correct article usage

the unemployment

show examples

scheme. If they stay unemployed for an extended period it is

then

faster for them to become

vulnurable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

. One of the possible steps

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can implement is to identify those children from these families and provide them with employment opportunities within the school environment.

This

will in turn help

teenagers

be of assistance to their parents/parent as well as stay in school without having to quit. Another way to solve the problem of inaccessibility to education is to set up a merit system where children from these vulnerable families can upgrade to specialized classes offered at school. In conclusion,

with

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apply

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the successful implementation of

above mentioned

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above-mentioned

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programs,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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could potentially help reduce the risk

for

Change preposition

show examples

teenagers

becoming involved in criminal activities.

Moreover

, it will help governments to prevent crime and help

teenagers

become responsible productive citizens in their respective countries.

Submitted by btseren09 on Wed Jun 15 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

240 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The crime rate among teenager has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons with this increase and suggest solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer the lifestyle and activities offered when living in a cold environment. Others prefer a hot environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.