IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
As worry about the
health
 problems and being fit in communities increases, people become more serious about searching the ways which are able to decline the rate of mal-fitness like obesity or being too tiny.
Then
, several solutions have been recommended , joining a
gym
 or
health
 club or just doing normal
activities
 exemplar as walking or climbing stairs. Both views will be discussed. There are groups who assume that “our daily routine
activities
 and maximum, walking or climbing stairs as a routine activity would be enough”. They believe in human natural instincts and claim, “unless our ancient generations went to the
gym
 to stay fit”? They may not be familiar with indigenous needs of the human body to stay healthy and upstanding or may pretend to what be said to justify some bad habits which they have.
Besides
, their keeping busy on their work and
activities
 and even the money which should be spent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 does not let them go to
gym
 or
health
 clubs. Proponents of the necessity for going to a
gym
 or fitness club to stay healthy and fit,
claiming
Replace the word
claim
show examples
 that according to the recent young lifestyle in modern societies, the type of work today is mostly sedentary and without any physical
activities
. They advise that, if anyone goes to fitness classes as a balanced program,
then
, he/she will be able to get a good physical condition not in a so prolonged period without any disasters in their normal work
activities
,
otherwise
, people especially youths of puissance gradually lose their well being and good physical appearance that unfortunately could be seen enormously in public today. To conclude, according to our busy lifestyle which is not appropriate with
health
 manner, it seems we should arrange our time advertently and one of the most important considerations is precise consideration to our
health
 and well being via going to
gym
 and
health
 clubs which may be not accessible with only walking or climbing stairs.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: