IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #visitors #locals #visit #tourist #attractions #country
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Due to globalization, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 travelling overseas for
tourism
Use synonyms
 is gradually increasing. Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that authorities should collect more fare from them than local citizens when they visit monuments and sights. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint as it not only creates
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
burden
Use synonyms
 on visitors but
also
Linking Words
 leads to discrimination. To commence with, increasing ticket prices add
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 financial
burden
Use synonyms
 on international travellers. They spend
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
show examples
 money to book flights, hotels, and food which are already
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
expensive to motivate them to
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
 again and promote
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 policymakers should not
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 entrance fees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 from developing countries visit western developed nations any small change in charges is a huge difference due to
currency
Correct article usage
the currency
show examples
 exchange rate.
As a result
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,
number
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the number
show examples
 of overseas visitors
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
In addition
Linking Words
 to financial
burden
Use synonyms
, price difference leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
racism. Foreign nationals may sue local administrators for discriminating based on their location.
For instance
Linking Words
, In 2006,
Basde
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Based
 on
complaint
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the complaint
a complaint
show examples
, the USA government prohibited
tourism
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cuba as they charging high prices for the US nationals.
Thus
Linking Words
, It is better
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not to hike fees
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 place
instead
Linking Words
 of making
this
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a national issue.
Finally
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, to recapitulate, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that governments should
colled
Change the verb form
coll
show examples
 more charges from foreign travellers for visiting ancient constructions and landscapes. Personally, it impacts
tourism
Use synonyms
 due to the aforementioned reasons
such
Linking Words
 as more financial
burden
Use synonyms
 and discrimination.
Submitted by rana on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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