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Band 5.5

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#movement #people #areas #cities #work #places #measures
In the past, farmers engaged in husbandry in certain agricultural places to produce the daily necessities for every human being. Nowadays, more and more farmers emigrate to urban areas to get a better value of life. In
this
 essay, l am going to explain how to settle
such
 a problem.
To begin
 with, at the heart of the matter is that companies
always
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in cities tend to offer better conditions of jobs for people working there compared to the countryside which seems to be harsh.
For instance
, it was common for residents in villages to participate in heavy and dull work to seed or reap on the farmland in the sunshine or rainy, resulting in a strong sense of contrast and desire when they know that some employees can enjoy the comfortable workplaces with air-conditioners and higher salaries.
Moreover
, since a single structure of the industry is witnessed among these specific regions, the young people who have various characteristics have fewer chances to discover their talents and find out the fields they are into.
Therefore
, l firmly believe that enhancing the infrastructure will play an important role
to figure
Change preposition
in figuring
show examples
 out
this
 matter.
In other words
, there was a limited number of basic installations to arouse some inconvenient troubles for them,
such
 as seeking doctors or studying. By planning plenty of schools and hospitals,
this
 sort of thing, will not only addresses these difficulties but
also
 will create diverse job positions.
For example
, a person who was born in a rural area would be capable of learning knowledge and finding a suitable job after graduation whatever major he is likely to choose.
Overall
, as long as we pay attention to the basic facilities in these places on the grounds of considering convenient and better lives, a better future will be recorded soon.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the question and provides a clear position. Provide specific examples and reasons to support the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and coherent structure. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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