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Band 4

As the world population increases, genetically modified crops are becoming essential to meet rising demands for food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #population #increases #crops #demands #food
Over the past decades, global
food
 shortages
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been a problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many
countries
 all over the world. Some believe that, with the
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 number of population, genetically modified
crops
 are becoming important to meet consumers’
demand
. I largely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement,
however
, there is another
system
 that can
also
 be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 to solve the issue. Modifying a plant’s gene by transforming its DNA could reduce the chances of the
crops
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 infected by
diseases
.
For instance
, seedling
diseases
 are very common in plants
such
 as corn and wheat and these conditions may cause
marked
Add an article
a marked
show examples
 reduction in the yield. When
DNA
Correct article usage
the DNA
show examples
 of the plants that are susceptible to
diseases
 are changed, more
crops
 that are resistant to
diseases
 are grown. Eventually, there is
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 yield and the production may satisfy consumers’
demand
.
However
, the availability and cost of genetically modified technology can be a concern in certain
countries
. The technology is handled by multinational companies
such
 as Bayer and may not be accessible to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Third
world
Capitalize word
World
show examples
countries
.
For example
, transportation is needed to export the corps and
food
 to
countries
such
 as India and Bangladesh as these
countries
 may not be supplied with
such
 innovations.
Besides
, the cost to run the
system
 can be high and government may need to invest
al
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 large amount of money on it. The
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of Iran and Afghanistan,
for instance
, may not be capable
to allocate
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of allocating
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 amount of money
on
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to
show examples
this
 technology.
Hence
,
it is clear that
this
system
 can be expensive and not easy to
be accessed
Wrong verb form
access
show examples
. The vertical farming
system
 is another way of producing
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 amount of
food
 that may meet the
demand
 of the population on earth as it can produce
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 volume of
corps
Correct your spelling
crops
show examples
 and
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
easily accessed.
This
system
 can be installed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 where it is accessible to consumers.
For instance
,
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 can obtain a large number of fresh vegetables from
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vertical farming
system
 and it is convenient for consumers to buy the products. The availability of
food
 is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
crucial in order to ensure that the global
food
 shortages are solved. In conclusion, genetically modified
crops
 are essential to meet the rising
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
 all over the world,
however
, there is
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 method
such
 as vertical farming that may have better advantages in order to satisfy the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
 supply. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies can be applied because of the benefits of high crop production.
Submitted by vinahravin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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