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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

#people #games #children #abilities
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It is argued, that some
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals reckon that conventional
games
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 are more effective rather than today's
games
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 in order to
cultivating
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cultivate
show examples
 a
child
Use synonyms
's development. I firmly agree with the proposed statement, that classical
games
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 are more action-based
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to develop their knowledge and are more enjoyed in life than the modern ones.
To begin
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 with, It is true that, traditional
games
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 assist to develop various motor
skills
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 as well as sensory
skills
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,
such
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 as chess fosters youngsters to develop independent thinking
skills
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.
Moreover
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, other
games
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 like hide-and-seek can aid to maintain healthy living and improve the
child
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's professional abilities. To elucidate
further
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, recent research concluded that traditional plays are more likely to cultivate a
child
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's holistic development, and it is observed that by playing they incubate specific
skills
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 that are needed in day-to-day life. Modern
games
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 are mainly characterised by electronic devices which means the
skills
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 to use digital devices adeptly trained via playing online
games
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. Despite the fact, one of the main grave effects of playing today's
games
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 is that it leads to a sedentary lifestyle ; sitting static
at
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in
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 one place for
longer
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long
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 hours can cause severe health issues
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Obesity. In my opinion,
However
Linking Words
, modern plays can assist to enhance certain hidden abilities, but classical
games
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 can lead to developing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. In a nutshell, I firmly believe that traditional
games
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 have more features that can improve
child
Use synonyms
's
skills
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,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 keep their health because of the mobility they have and can enjoy
from
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apply
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real life
that is
Linking Words
 gained through virtual ones.
Submitted by Alvina Muqeet on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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