Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people are of
view
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the view
show examples
that it is uncanny to have a
pre determined
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pre-determined
show examples
supperanutaion
Correct your spelling
superannuation
age for
eveyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
and few employees deserve a golden handshake and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
pension at an earlier age. I strongly agree with
this
notion as certain
jobs
required physical
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
and
also
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
disassociation with family. In the upcoming essay
Correct your spelling
strong
strongs
Correct your spelling
strong
points related to my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
will be discussed along with
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
of
workers
who can get rewards from
this
.
Firstly
, it is
proven
Correct article usage
a proven
show examples
fact that a worker must have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health to do any job but certain
jobs
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
more strength.
Person
Add an article
A person
The person
show examples
with
Correct your spelling
positive
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
mental and physiological health not only reduces cost expenditure for the company but
also
paved way for new ideas for its growth.
Secondly
, Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
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to work
on
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in
show examples
remote locations far away from their home. Felling of homesickness can act as
barrier
Add an article
a barrier
show examples
in
work
Add an article
the work
a work
show examples
environment.
For example
, In various armed forces
workers
have to live a very hard
life
and remain under constant physical and mental stress. They
also
have to live in very harsh
Correct your spelling
situations
situtations
Correct your spelling
situations
and remain cut off from their social
life
for
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
term which can have serious effects on their
jobs
, if they get retired earlier they can enjoy their
life
well. Apart from it, Many
workers
who work in different industries where they are exposed to different chemicals and dust
particals
Correct your spelling
particles
can get
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
if they revoke their
assocation
Correct your spelling
association
from their organisation earlier. Another class of
workers
such
as one involved in
jobs
where human lives are at stake can
also
get
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
from
such
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
For example
,
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
research
Replace the word
researchers
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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proved that
person
working in
factory
Add an article
a factory
the factory
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where he has to deal with different minerals and materials suffer from various
carsinogenic
Correct your spelling
carcinogenic
carcinogens
diseases in their later stages of
life
. If they leave their profession early along with
monetry
Correct your spelling
monetary
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
they can get timely treatment
also
a
person
working in air traffic control always have to remain
vigilent
Correct your spelling
vigilant
towards its job so with
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
in age they may not abe to do so. By getting
Correct article usage
a pre-matured
show examples
pre-matured
Correct your spelling
pre-mature
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exit from their office any tragedy can be averted and they can
also
leave peacefully. To conclude, it can be summarised that the necessary requirements of the job offered
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
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capability and by getting retired at an early stage, there can be mutual
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
for both worker and the organisation.
Submitted by prabhjyot44 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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