Educating young people is naturally important, however some think government ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In the new
world
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,world
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it is known that learning and academic
improvement
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bring
power
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to power
show examples
. An increase in the academic ability of younger children is important. The federal
government
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should concentrate more on the younger population than the older citizens. In order to improve the academic standards, I am of the opinion that the federal
government
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should focus more on the younger generation, than making efforts to improve the academic
performance
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of the older citizens.
Teenagers
Use synonyms
are the leaders of tomorrow. Investing in the younger generation tends to promote the economic standard of the
country
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because they develop new technology that can promote the
country
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.
However
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, it is necessary for the
government
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to train
teenagers
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than older
adults
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. It is said that the youths are the future of tomorrow. Both the
government
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and parents are encouraged to promote the academic background of
teenagers
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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instead
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of the
government
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paying attention to the
improvement
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of the older adult's academic
performance
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, there should be other ways to focus on
teenagers
Use synonyms
' training so that they will have the best education. Examples, training 60 years on
man
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men
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in school
,
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apply
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and giving them free education.
Then
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allowing the
teenagers
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to be uneducated. It is known that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older
adults
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have shorter life to live than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
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. So it is important to train them while young. And for
teenagers
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to be great leaders tomorrow they need to be educated in order to meet the demands of the
country
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. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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,hand it is very important to train and improve the academic
performance
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of a child
then
Linking Words
the
government
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makes efforts to improve the academic standard of older
adults
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.
Which it
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
is known that the learning abilities and capabilities have decreased over the years. It is known that in the new age are new things. I think that investments made in the lives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager will tend to increase the economy of the nation in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, when the youths are empowered through academic
improvement
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it enables them to make new investments and develop new technology.
This
Linking Words
improvement
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leads to the development of the economy of the
country
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. In conclusion, I agree that it is more profitable to improve the academic
performance
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of
teenagers
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than that of older
adults
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in the present
country
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.
This
Linking Words
makes the
country
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have a brighter future and it
also
Linking Words
proves the economic standard of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by snazari2006 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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