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Band 5

A"cashless society" is one where people use Debit/Credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages.

#cashless #society #people #debit #credit #cards #forms #payment #cash
In
this
 contemporary time, with the use of newly innovated
technology
people
 can do any
payment
 transaction online.
This
 is the reason why it is trending nowadays a cashless society in which every individual can pay by Debit/Credit cards
instead
 of cash. I strongly believe that
payment
 thru the use of cards has more merits than drawbacks. To commence with, these days,
people
 are more convenient to use online
payment
 due to the fact that the
internet
 is accessible anywhere in the world. The moneyless financial transaction is popular today most especially during
this
 time of coronavirus.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 populace
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 terrified of going outside because they can get the virus.
Thus
 they just do errands by browsing the
internet
 just like buying groceries and paying bills which they can easily pay by using Debit/Credit cards.
Additionally
, there are instances in life that a person can forget their wallets but they can still do payments because
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 like
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an Apple and Samsung pay.
Consequently
, the
internet
 can access by professional hackers who can do
scam
Fix the agreement mistake
scams
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
random
Add an article
a random
the random
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mostly not knowledgeable about new
technology
. When they access the one-time password, they can easily get the money from others. In my conclusion, innovation of
technology
 is beneficial to
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 because
payment
 online is more convenient rather than using cash.
However
, the
internet
 can be accessible to professional hackers that can do theft
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other innocent
people
 just by using the
internet
.
Therefore
,
people
 should be
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
technology
 to keep their money safe.
Submitted by gaylee_23 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payments
  • financial inclusion
  • technological infrastructure
  • transactions
  • privacy concerns
  • financial management
  • system failures
  • cyber-attacks
  • convenience
  • electronic payments
  • budgeting
  • financial information
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