Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace.with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate.Technology is increasinly responsible for unemployment. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

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Today's, world's directions depend on technology.Technology has a vital role in any field
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as employment,Education ,Trading and so on. From the 18th century onwards the advancement of technologies
is
Unnecessary verb
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The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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somehow affected employment. I agree with the notions.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss the reasons for unemployment in the coming paragraph.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,The advancement of technologies has a great impact on any working field. The efficiency and accuracy of work increase. In , the past most of the work
are
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is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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done manually.But nowadays it's done by computer. So the working efficiency and accuracy of technologies are what most people prefer. Because of that majority of people step on to the advanced level.Due to ,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they reduce the manpower.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,Trading fields want only the profit, If they get that income from the other source without much effort they prefer to get that one and reduce the unwanted part of their trading elements.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, certain groups of people have some limitations in the use of the latest discoveries of things
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as new types of gadgets or any equipment.They don't have to know the operations , In
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,situations it may be a reason for the job loss. The company prefers that
,
Remove the comma
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It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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the workers with all the ability is only accommodated.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In the field of software ,programming there is
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word surged.

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surged development.If we are not updated with the latest trend
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

we will be fired . The chance of job loss is more because of outdated To conclude,
The
Correct article usage
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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advancements in technology have both merits and demerits. The negative
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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in the sense , that it somehow affects
the
Correct article usage
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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unemployment. I agree with the notions

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