IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons for example, new experience, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. why do you think people attend colleges or universities?

#people #colleges #universities #career #preparation
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It is very common for individuals to undergo tertiary education for variable purposes
such
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 as to gain new experience, obtain
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career
carreer
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career
rediness
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readiness
, have more knowledge and so on. In my opinion, I strongly believe that most
people
Use synonyms
 go to university to have a little bit of all the reasons mentioned in the statement, but above all to have
higher paying
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higher-paying
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 jobs once they are in the market. Many
people
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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believe
Replace the word
belief
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 that the best way to ensure a well
payed
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paid
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job
Use synonyms
 in the future is to obtain extra studies after secondary education.
Furthermore
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, once students focus their studies in a determined field, like
for example
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 taking a course to get a diploma, it is usually easier to get to a higher standard of practice and obtain a
well paid
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well-paid
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job
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
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, with all the knowledge gained in college once the course is finished most students can apply for leadership employments,
such
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 as CEOs. For all the reasons mentioned above, I believe that most individuals that have
an
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the
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 ambition to become a leader or even have a valuable position in a team will opt to go to university to get all the qualifications needed to have a better chance in the market.
Usually
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,Usually
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 students start gaining experience in the
second
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 and
third
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 years of a
four year
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four-year
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 course, by applying for
internerships
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internships
, where they will be shadowing future
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colleagues
colleages
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colleagues
.
This
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 is a very valuable
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hands-on
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hands on
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hands-on
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 experience and looks very good
in
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on
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 their resumes.
Thus
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, when applying for
high paying
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high-paying
show examples
 jobs they will get greater
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 of winning the
job
Use synonyms
. In summary, there are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 go to university. Some
Correct your spelling
believe
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that it is to gain extra knowledge, others think it is to try something different.
However
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, I strongly think that most
people
Use synonyms
 that go to college want to have more money and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have a
higher paid
Add a hyphen
higher-paid
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cindyscholzm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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