IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

University education system is one of the most widely discussed topics these days. Many people believe that college students should be allowed to choose subjects they like to study. Others think that it is always better to learn subjects that have relevance in the future and I agree with them. Both views will be discussed in this essay

#university #education #system #topics #people #college #students #subjects #study #relevance #future
On the one hand, there are
people
 who claim that college
students
 should be given the privilege of choosing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
subjects
 of study. Usually, the
subjects
 for a particular course are decided by the university. According to these
people
, doing these courses is not effective and
this
 has to change. If
students
 get the opportunity to choose their
subjects
, learning will become more interesting for them.
In addition
, there are
students
 who have talents in many other fields.
Therefore
,
this
 proposed change in the education system will allow them to enhance their knowledge in a wide variety of
subjects
 and polish their talents.
For instance
, if we include some arts and cultural
subjects
 in engineering courses,
this
 would pave the way for them to explore other fields.
Nevertheless
,
this
 will affect the focus and ruin the quality of education.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that education should be based on the major
subjects
 of the particular course rather than the student's interest. In their view, when
students
 complete their course, they should have a thorough knowledge of that area.
This
 is only possible if they study the
subjects
 specific to the stream.
Moreover
, when we consider the future, competition for jobs will be very high and industries will hire only the finest talents.
For example
, a lot of innovations are happening. New subject topics and research fields have started to come up resulting in the betterment of technologies. Since the employment opportunities will be based on
this
 technological knowledge, it is
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, highly important that university
students
 should focus more on studying these
subjects
 for
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 better future. To conclude, many
people
 are against studying only core
subjects
;
however
, it is always better to study these
subjects
 and make their fundamentals strong for a successful future
Submitted by lushennandanwar.ln on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: