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Band 5.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #difference
In globalisation, people tend to travel around the world for their leisure time. We might have
such
 a diverse mindset on whether we should follow local
culture
 and behaviour or the country should accept cultural differences. Let us illustrate these aspects in the below paragraphs.
First
 of all, sightseers keep their local customs and behaviour which could bring a unique experience for visitors. When we pick the province for travelling,
culture
 could be one of the attractive points for travellers who are willing to spend time and money to explore it.
For example
, visitors are willing to spend lots of money on animal migration. Travellers need to follow local guidelines and behaviours in order to maintain the wild animals, and environment, which will not be affected by tourism. Following the local customs can protect local
people
Change noun form
people's
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 income as
African
Fix the agreement mistake
Africans
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are heavily relied
Change to the active voice
heavily rely
have heavily relied
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 on tourism.
Therefore
, it needs to have a balance between tourism and wildlife in order to have a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
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stable income in long run.
On the other hand
, visitors can bring different viewpoints, which can give inspiration.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Australia. Australia is a well-known multinational province, which is well-mixed with traditional
culture
 and a new angle from new immigrants. In conclusion, I would agree to have a mixture of keeping local customs that
also
 welcome cultural differences. To have a mixed
culture
, local people would know how to protect their environment, the input from sightseers, which can bring new inspiration points that can make their provincial have more attraction in order to improve their tourist income.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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